The Nonsuch Inn

Friendly Welcome, Great Value, Cozy Vibes

As I ambled into the charmingly named Nonsuch Wetherspoons, my expectations were duly primed to be underwhelmed – it is, after all, an outpost of the great British institution where consistent mediocrity often reigns supreme. Yet, I confess to being oddly entranced by its character; a firewood fireplace coyly flickered warmth throughout the pub, this quaint feature incongruously setting the scene for what would be a mixed bag of gastro-pub fare. A plethora of high-calibre cuddliness from the staff was on offer, their genuine proclivity for making patrons feel at home gleaming brighter than the Monday mid-morning daylight annoyingly assaulting my menu from harsh overhead bulbs.

Once fortified with optimism, derived either from the venue's convivial atmosphere or the inexplicably engaging quiz night (I couldn't tell), I took to sampling some staple offerings. The pepperoni pizza was delivered with plates as hot as their taste, encroaching on superb, while cheaper-than-chips brews remained foolproof. And yet, there it was: a palpably standoffish deluxe steak – insistently bypassing hot for cold territory faster than the speeding 73 bus outside. Merciful rectifications ensued, not entirely unlike a flustered chef misplacing the moral justice cue, only briefly interrupted by a resident throng steadfastly abusing the assigned toilet visits protocol. Rallying scarce irony reserves, I wondered if Plato predicted the perfect circle that is a crowd’s insistence on a cringefest. Nonsuch Wetherspoons—a palimpsest of irritable foibles, yet delightfully bald and unpretentious as a freshly served pint of its cheapest ale. — Penelope Savory