My Fair Lady Cruising Restaurant

If you’re looking for an unconventional way to soak up the scenery of Camden and the towpath, then MFL Boat Cruises might intrigue you—for all its capital charm, though, it does sail a bit close to the wind in places. Picture this: as I stood at the end of the jetty waiting to embark, I caught more whiffs of diesel than I’d have liked—a hangover from an old school engine, making electric boats look like pure zen in comparison. Undeterred, my anticipation tickled like bubbles from the unpretentious western horizon of London’s water arteries.

Once on board, it was hard not to admire a voyage attempting to hold onto the glorious mustiness of time. What they call afternoon tea is indeed a daring reinterpretation—tea and grace belied by generous heaps of plastic platters bearing sandwiches, pastries, and misplaced optimism. Atmos proof that shortbread slapdash action clocks in each ingredient like a clock never breathing fresh air again. Despite a hiccup that had us gently nudging other boats along the tarry path—you wished a guidebook Southwark Carriageway-style available—it proved a rebellious jaunt, powered not by luxury but grit. Cue these lyrical trails mingling timeless vessels with the thunderous mischief of motor humming. It wasn't quite what dreams are made of, unless your dream involves sharing Earl Grey among secrets bestowed tenderly by London waters. In which case, welcome aboard. — Milo Tastemaker