Patisserie Patchi

Exceptional Middle Eastern Delicacies and Service!

Having ambled down to Patisserie Patchi recently, I found myself ensconced within what feels like a dramatis personae of a gastronomic soap opera. The façade is an alluring amalgamation of art and eatery, sparkling with chandeliers that could eclipse the sun—a bit excessive for a patisserie, but we're here for flair, not austerity, right? Olga, the perky waitress seen as an ambassador of goodwill by many, presided over our visit with the verve and flourish of a seasoned maîtred', scooping up five-star accolades in various reviews like they were going out of style. Others, however, seem equally determined to plot out her demise due to the supposed inconsistency in her ministrations; an irony worthy of its own theatrical production.

Yet, the merits of this establishment lie squarely in their meze tableau of Levantine delight: shawarma draped gracefully like a newly-tailored Samba dress, and manakish haughtily proclaiming their oregano-laden dominance. Dessert, it seems, is a festival here, albeit with noticeable accusations that someone's perhaps stolen quality from past performances—much to my diplomatic restraint. Their baklava, for instance, has the audacity of bringing freshness out of the backstage just when you're ready to heckle. Patrons speak fondly, nay affectionately, of peerless crisp puffs with oozy centers akin to devotional practices. Nonetheless, this ode to all things saccharine occasionally finds itself interspersed with a disclaimer for those whose appetites beg subtler high notes. Like trying to re-watch a favourite show only to find new subplots, Patisserie Patchi tangos with your taste buds, possibly more of a cha-cha given the occasional hit-and-miss. In summary, it’s a whimsically endearing culinary kaleidoscope worth attending, equipped with the distinctive charm of both Moscow's Bolshoi Theatre or sometimes Oxford Circus at closing hour. — Penelope Savory