Tortilla Clapham

Exceptional Service, Flavorful Tex-Mex Experience

In the bustling heart of Clapham Junction lies Tortilla, a veritable haven for those seeking the comforting embrace of a generously filled burrito—albeit occasionally doused in a soupçon of liquid and a sprinkling of disappointment. A prominent figure on the Tex-Mex stage, it somehow manages to juggle vibrant vegetarian options while warding off the dreaded fate of underwhelming portions in these challenging times of shrinkflation. My own adventure was seasoned by cheerful interactions with staff whose service levels oscillate between the exuberance of game-show hosts or the melancholy of misunderstood artists. Leah, the altruistic goddess of the till, deserves special mention, dispensing not only smiles but guiding my inner indecisiveness like a seasoned therapist.

The contour of my evening was sculpted by an amazing burst of flavor that deftly masked occasional condiment price hikes, proving the Honours of Burrito-packing are still conferred here. Its corn ribs, late-night poison par excellence, have righteously secured their spot as must-haves when one catapults oneself into this culinary sanctuary. Although, do be sure to skip the chips unless salt is your particular bliss, or go prepared with extra clingfilm should your portable feast flounder. Alas, if your eyes light up at the prospect of quesadillas, do check if tortilla-to-plate conveyance equipment is functioning lest you experience ignominy akin to expecting a lovely tryst only to find the stage curtains emphatically closed. Despite these morsels of folly, Tortilla remains an indelible option when treading the line between appetite and architectural endurance—just remember to bring your linguistic diplomacy skills for those charmingly minuscule portions. — Penelope Savory