L'Artiste Muscle

Charming French Bistro Hidden in Mayfair

There I was, in the heart of Shepherd Market, sauntering into L’Artiste Muscle—a place that promises the unapologetic charm of a French bistro right in the midst of bustling Mayfair. The outside may not boast grandiosity but step inside and it's like being transported straight to a snug corner somewhere off the Seine. This darling of a bistro captures everything you desire: small tables nearly touching, the tantalising scent of French onion soup wafting through the air, and a soundtrack murmuring quietly from the era of jazz’s golden age. As I settled into my curiously intimate seating arrangement, I fully prepared myself to critique yet another "hidden gem" in London.

The menu unfurls like an ode to French culinary staples—though after bravely tackling the beef bourguignon, I'd advise steering towards any alternative classics here as the boeuf triste was more reminiscent of dry country roads than plum ameliorated cuts. But let's not dwell on quirks of over-ambitious suggestions. There are triumphs aplenty — the sea bass! Quite possibly a piscine masterpiece that another table might’ve ordered audible gasps before indulging. Oh, and don't overlook the decadently charred edges of crème brûlée, waiting to offer solace after an adventure with elusive slices of tenderised beef. Financially speaking, pocket these thoughts: It’s all insignificantly steep, only whispering covert truths about staying afloat neat. Even the wine prices don't break the spell. L’Artiste Musclé remains etched on the Grand Dame's kitchen canvass—a steady hub of Paris-meets-Piccadilly pleasures. It’s like finding France had built an outpost amidst Blue Plaques and yet-to-unfurl umbrellas. Bravo, indeed. — Penelope Savory